You begged yourself to change. You fought with yourself time and time again. You blamed others, you blamed your parents. Blame became God, for it is an easy out. Blame can be a poison. Frustration grew. Anger grew. Self-doubt grew.
Until you are able to realize that nothing in your world can change until you are willing to allow yourself too, you will keep falling back into the same hole wondering how you ended up there again. Wondering why it is you that faces such continual pain. You must let these parts of you that hold you back go if you intend to find your authentic self. It takes deep and often dark pain that feels like it will never end to show you the truth behind your behavior. The truth is that all anger you feel towards the external world around you stems from you. It is a reflection of what you carry with you. You can choose to let that dominate you or you can choose to be free. If you choose to be free old defenses soon will begin to give way and no longer work. You will always be left with yourself. Your truth is all that matters, no matter how you choose to construct it. Your defenses are not your truth. Your anger and frustrations do not define you. What defines you is what you can offer to the world. Nobody will ever be able to fully define that for you.
How free do you want to be?
“The art of living is to a large measure dependent on an ability to locate our thorns accurately and in good time so that we will not forever be condemned to suffer our symptoms and terrify strangers with our roars.”